“God will not give us the Holy Spirit to enable us to gain celebrity or to procure a name or to live an easy, self-controlled life. The Spirit’s passion is the glory of the Lord Jesus, and can make His abode [only] with those who are willing to be at one with Him in this”.
F.B. Meyer
Reading the Word is not only beneficial to our walk; it can benefit others. As the number of readers of The Journey increases, so do the types of follow-up questions. I am realizing some have limited context for what we are talking about. I now am more conscious of the importance of you and I taking time to teach those around us. People are expecting us to use our platforms to make the Word plain to them; not to tell them how great we are or creating thirst traps as a way of gaining attention or validation. Our goal should be to reflect Him through us. Charles Koller explains it, “Not as a pipe through which the truth flows out to others, but as a living embodiment of the truth to which we seek to win others”. Witnessing does not depend on flashy rhetoric or heart wrenching stories. The spirit does the convicting and convincing. We are merely the tool. So, “study to show ourselves approved”.
When we don’t take the time to teach the Bible to others we dilute the complexity, historicity, and beauty of its story, and the readers can miss significant facets of the Good News about Jesus. I’m reminded of the story of Philip joining the Ethiopian high official in Acts 8 as a perfect example for us to model:
27 And he rose and went. And there was an Ethiopian, a eunuch,
a court official of Candace, queen of the Ethiopians,
who was in charge of all her treasure. He had come to Jerusalem to worship
28 and was returning, seated in his chariot, and he was reading the prophet Isaiah.
29 And the Spirit said to Philip, “Go over and join this chariot.”
30 So Philip ran to him and heard him reading Isaiah the prophet and asked,
“Do you understand what you are reading?”
31 And he said, “How can I, unless someone guides me?”
And he invited Philip to come up and sit with him.
Philip didn’t wait for him to come to church. Philip joined the Ethiopian where he was. The Ethiopian official needed someone to relationally unfold Isaiah 53:7-8 to him in a way that made sense.
So here are the two challenges this passage confronts us with. First, we must be willing to step into some elses “chariot” and sit alongside people who can’t make sense of life, much less the Bible. Second, we must study God’s Word diligently and learn from good teachers about His whole counsel, so that when we do have opportunities with those seeking to understand, we can engage them with the whole story instead of leaving them with a presentation. We can only teach others what we’ve learned ourselves; so consider studying a book or two of the Bible.
You never know who God may put in your path to share the Good News. When your opportunity comes, just like Philip, be prepared.
Father God,
Prepare us to share your Word with others. Unless we study, we won’t be ready. It’s not always easy to dedicate time to studying; and yes I know this is an excuse. Help me to do better. I want and need to represent you well.
In Jesus name we pray, Amen.
Thank you for allowing me to speak into your life. Hey, spend a few moments of quiet time discovering your personal application of what you just read by clicking this link myTime with God
Everyone loves and crave relevance. Relevance is about getting attention, being connected, being valued, and becoming significant. But attention engineering is not limited to our social media activity discussed last month. For some, their sense of identity may not be strong enough to exist without the constant reassurance of others. We often worry about our position and status, hoping to get proper recognition for what we do. It’s when the quest for relevance becomes self-centeredness and moves us out of the will of God that it becomes sin.
Everyone has a measure of self-centeredness. We must work daily to minimize how much focus we put on ourselves. Jesus is so opposed to the sin of self-centeredness that He declared, “Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross and follow me” (Matthew 16:24). To deny oneself is to focus on the interests of God rather than our own earthly, material, personal desires (Matthew 6:33). What are God’s interests? His interest is for us to love and care for our neighbors (John 13:34-35), to bear others’ burdens (Galatians 6:2), to not pass judgment on others (Romans 14:13) and to be kind and forgiving (Ephesians 4:32). So our question today is, how can we balance becoming revenant and seeking to make others relevant?
Some say God’s interest is only in our relationship with Him. Moreover, as long as we have a relationship with Him, “It’s ok for the strong to rule over the weak, justice has no intrinsic worth and moral values are socially constructed and subjective.” Additionally, some argue, “Catering to others is indicative of a lack of self-esteem. And while giving to others is positive, you truly cannot give until you have taken care of yourself.” This type of thinking is rooted in our fleshly desire to supplant God’s authority with our own. Scripture clearly states in Romans 8:8 that, “People who are self-centered aren’t able to please God”.
Being self-centered is juxtaposed to several Biblical commands: “No one should seek their own good, but the good of others” (1 Corinthians 10:24). Romans 12 teaches us to be transformed from the thinking of this secular world and not to focus on raising yourself up. Philippians 2:3-4 leaves no room for self-centeredness, “Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, rather, in humility value others above yourself, not looking to your own interest but each of you to the interest of the others.”
When we make others relevant first, our own relevance is a natural result and God will be pleased. In 1 Peter 5:6, Peter advises us to remember, that God’s recognition counts more than human praise. Therefore, seeking relevance or recognition is not wrong; it is seeking it in the wrong source. Seek to please God, not humans.
Father God,
We sometimes get full of ourselves and out of your will. We need to overcome the sin of self-centeredness, but we can’t do it without you. As we live a life pleasing to you, may others come to know you better through our words and actions.
In Jesus name we pray. Amen.
Thank you for allowing me to speak into your life. Hey, spend a few moments of quiet time discovering your personal application of what you just read by clicking this link myTime with God
The billionaire French donors who publicly proclaimed they would give hundreds of millions to rebuild Notre Dame have not yet paid a penny toward the restoration of the French national monument, according to church and business officials. These wealthy donors want their money to go toward long-lasting, immortalizing structures and not on the ephemeral but equally vital tasks of cleaning and securing a site that poses real health risks for Parisians.
The same desire for personal recognition and popularity can play out in a believer when we put the focus on ourselves and not on God. As we continue to spotlight our promises to Him, let’s focus on the attention engineering of your social media posts. Do they reflect Him or do they reflect you? We’ve become obsessed with people seeing where we are, what we’re doing, what we’re wearing or what we’re eating. And even when we help or service others our post can say look at what I’m doing.
In Jeremiah 9:23 God says, “Let not a wise man boast of his wisdom and let not the mighty man boast of his might, let not a rich man boast of his riches.” God says, there is only one thing in life worth bragging about: “Do you know Me?” Because if you can’t talk about that, then it doesn’t matter how much money is in your account, what degrees are on your wall, what great trips you are able to take or what position you have in your company. The mindset of “he with the most toys wins!” has to be seen for the fallacy it is. See, the knowledge of God affects everything about you. God says, “If you are going to brag, brag that you know Me.”
But God doesn’t tell you the truth about yourself and then leave you where you are. Like a good doctor, He tells you you’re sick so you will get the proper treatment. The proper treatment for the sin of self focus is salvation through the blood of Jesus Christ. He provides forgiveness for our sins by His death on the cross. If Jesus had focused on popularity, He would not have gone to the cross on our behalf. You can never know God until you are properly related to Him through a relationship with Jesus. If you have never come to Jesus in repentance and faith, today would be a great day to do so.
Thank you for allowing me to speak into your life. Hey, spend a few moments of quiet time discovering your personal application of what you just read by clicking this link myTime with God
“If a man makes a promise to the LORD or says he will do something special, he must keep his promise. He must do what he said”
Numbers 30:2(NCV)
We have spent the first six months of 2019 unpacking the many promises of God. We’ve seen the grace and mercy He provides to us day by day. We’ve seen that we can depend on His promises. We’ve search scripture to confirm His promises. Yet, doubt, disappointment or disillusion creep in when we think He has not fulfilled His promise to us. This month we pause, turn the spotlight, flip the script, reframe the focus to explore the promises we have made to God and ask, “Can He depend on the promises we have made to Him?”
When you give your word, you’re putting your honor on the line. You’re implying that others can trust you because you have integrity. Have you ever considered how God hears the fulfillment of your promises to Him –
I’m willing to offer a belief in you generally, but without specifics attached to it. If what you are asking is too hard for me to do, you’ll understand if I avoid it. I will sacrifice for others as long as it does not affect my own self-interest as I face life’s daily events. I studied your Word and used my intellect to discern all that was right and wrong with it. Besides, it was written by imperfect men. I ignore the parts that don’t make sense or make me uncomfortable. I’ll proclaim my allegiance to you by judging people on the parts that don’t inconvenience me. I’m willing to love those who are like me but as your Word says, I’m required to love my neighbor not those others. I’m not a minister so, at my own discretion, I will tell others about the Good News. I asked you to alleviate that situation and you told me “your grace is sufficient”; I know you understand that’s not quite going to cut it.
Sound crazy? Before you too quickly dismiss this and while you may not audibly say these things to God, have you not conveyed these words to Him by your words and actions? God expects all true believers to be His emissaries. One day we will all have to stand before the Creator and answer the question, did we take Him at His Word and keep our promise?
The most basic promise of most believers is to serve Him. Serving is the obligation to love Him. John 14:15 defines loving Him as keeping His commandments. There is a direct link between His commandments and His promises. They are our reward for a life of faith, belief, and devotion. When we prioritize, pick or choose which commandment to focus on, we open the door for the enemy to get into our heads. My friend says, “If the enemy can cause us to doubt one promise from God to us, then over time that will cascade into uncountable other questions creeping into our heads and causing more doubt.”
Today I pose a set of questions that will allow you to unpack how well you have kept your promises to Him. Grab a cup of coffee, tea or your favorite beverage. Find a quiet space to work through them. You can choose how honest to be with yourself in your answers. This is between you and God. These questions are not designed to challenge you from my own perspective. It is the Word of God, the Word that Christ committed to His Church, and the Word that we are commissioned to defend and proclaim. The Word that can keep the Church strong and pure if we believe it and obey it. We convey our promises to Him by our actions and our deeds. Our actions should seek to please God, not have God please us. Special thanks to Chuck Bengochea and Tim Donoho for allowing me to integrate some of their questions with my own:
1. What real sacrifices have you made for Christ? The operative word is sacrifices. Not what have you done for Christ, but what have you truly sacrificed. Webster defines sacrifice as, “forfeiture of something highly valued for the sake of one considered to have a greater value or claim”
2. What pain have you suffered for God? List 3 examples
3. List three significant gifts that you have given to God that forced you to change your lifestyle for at least three months.
4. If you knew you were going to die soon, what legacy would you leave behind that would benefit the body of Christ?
5. Have you ever been so hungry for the Word of God that you couldn’t sleep until you had meditated on it for a while?
6. What does it look like to “Seek God with all of your heart”? What changes would you have to make?
7. Do you know God well enough that He could brag on you if He wanted to? What would He say?
8. Learning to fully surrender to God is a journey; being willing to release your families, your financial future, and your health can be very difficult. Where are you on that journey? What do you still hold onto tightly and why? What do you think would be the outcome if you fully released that part of your life to God?
These are brutal questions for some. For others, these will be the most difficult questions that we have to answer in demonstrating your promise to God. Some of you simply won’t attempt to answer because the spaces for answers might be blank. I pray your first response will be to drop to your knees and join me in asking God to forgive us for not offering him our best.
Processing your answers will set you on a journey. You will find or awaken a depth of faith that wasn’t previously present. It is not too late to fulfill your promise to God; start today working on doing what His Word asks you to do and watch the blessings of the Lord come. E-mail me the challenges, roadblocks, and detours you experience on this journey so that I may pray with you and encourage you as you engage, discern and make conscious choices as you walk out your destiny.
Father God,
Forgive me for not always holding up my side of this covenant relationship. Use me as Your tool, not for my own purpose, but for Yours. Inspire me each day to seek out how I might truly be a worthy servant to You. Give me the opportunity to share my faith in You with others in both my words and actions. And give me the courage to do it boldly, without fear of what the results might be, knowing that it is solely under Your providence what the outcome will be.
The Netflix series What / If demonstrates how one seemingly innocent decision can have a major effect on oneself and those around you. It’s called the Butterfly Effect, first stated in 1963 by mathematician and meteorologist Edward Lorenz, a pioneer in chaos theory. In essence, the flap of the butterfly’s wing is part of the initial conditions that can lead to a chain of events leading to a large-scale chain of events. So what does this mean for us? It means that every decision we make matters and effects more than just ourselves. Have you ever thought about what informs your decision-making process? Some say we make decisions based on logic; the research says decisions are based on emotions. The decisions you make are a selection from a series of choices. The real answer to what informs your decision-making process should be based on your “Why”. When you know your why, you establish clear priorities. And making the “right” choices becomes a lot easier. I heard a story from Dale Powell that highlights how understanding your “why” will help you make better choices and decisions:
“Shortly after I was released from the hospital, I met a lady who saw that I was walking with a walker and inquired what was wrong with me. I told her that I had just had my knee replaced. She said she hoped mine did not turn out like hers. Dr. So and So had really messed her up and she had been on a walker for three years. I engaged in the conversation for a while and then said I was off to physical therapy. She replied “Oh, I don’t put any faith in that. I went one time and I thought they were going to kill me. I wouldn’t waste my time.” I thought how can she blame a doctor for botching her knee if she doesn’t follow up with his advice and do therapy? If I don’t follow the doctor’s advice, he cannot control the outcome. One session of physical therapy and expecting to get well is like doing one workout and expecting to be a fitness champion. It isn’t going to happen.”
She clearly didn’t understand that consistently going to physical therapy (the decision) was to restore functionality and prevent disability (the why). Can you relate? We sometimes make bad decisions because we don’t want to make the sacrifice that will lead to a better outcome. Even when we have evaluated our options – Self wants to do what self wants to do. And because we have the free will of choice, we are also the recipients of the free consequences of those choices. I’m glad God is more invested in accomplishing His good works through us. God’s plan is not defeated by our bad decisions. God intervenes to protect the promises He has made to us. Philippians 1:6 gives us the confidence that “He who has begun a good work in you will complete it until the day of Jesus Christ”.
As believers, we can put our faith in Jesus Christ and allow Him to guide our every decision. Why? He will help us maneuver the traps, distractions and challenges this life presents. Our savior has promised to provide us wisdom for right living and understanding that informs our decision-making process. It’s been said that our destiny is a compilation of the decisions we make over our lifetime. Webster defines destiny as both a predefined course of events; and as the power or agency that determines the course of events. Our goal throughout our life is to use our agency to make proper choices and decisions that keep us from delaying or derailing our destiny. How we exercise our agency is enhanced by the power of the Holy Spirit. Remember last months topic – He will be with you always.
Jesus provides us wisdom and knowledge through the gift of discernment. The gift of discernment is the ability to make the best choice when confronted with a number of options. Moreover, if the researchers are correct in stating that we make decisions based on emotions, then our emotions should be informed by the Holy Spirit. In our relationship with Christ, we have a noise cancellation system. When we study and apply God’s Word to our lives; when we passionately pursue Jesus daily, the noise of the world is quieted and we can hear Him clearly. Sure, we will still know the noise is out there, but the level of the roar is reduced. However, when we ignore these basic disciplines, the noise of the world increases and can become deafening – and our lives (and possibly others) suffer because we no longer hear God’s word. We then make emotion-based decisions rather than faith-based decisions. That’s why scripture teaches us,
Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is – his good, pleasing and perfect will. (Romans 12:2)
Jesus didn’t intend to remove us completely from the noise of the world with its temptations, hurts, injustices and evil. Rather He intends to protect us in the midst of these dangers, effectively canceling the world’s noise to a point where we can hear and respond to God’s Word and our lives can be lived joyfully and effectively for Him.
With this knowledge, we can be sure of His promise to give us wisdom and knowledge: to discern; to evaluate what we are thinking against the Word of God; to make good choices and to give us a door of escape. He knows our end before our beginning but in the middle, he gives us free will to make our own choices. Our choices determine the path to our destiny – quick or long, hard or easy.
Let me encourage you to, “Trust the Lord with all your heart and lean not to your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him and He will direct your path”.
So, who’s informing your decision-making process?
Dear Heavenly Father,
Decisions are not easy. I make over 3,500 decisions per day; some small some large. I know you leave each decision up to me, even when you show me the path of escape from those choices that may not be best for me. Help me to first evaluate all my decisions through the lens of scripture. You promised wisdom and understanding, but I can be hard headed sometimes. Help me to listen and act on your guidance; to trust that you shall open, and none shall shut, and you shall shut, and none shall open. Let all the glory and credit go to you in everything I do.
In Jesus name we pray. Amen.
Thank you for allowing me to speak into your life. Hey, spend a few moments of quiet time discovering your personal application of what you just read by clicking this link myTime with God
In the book, “Where Is God When I Hurt?” Wilson Adams tells the story of an older couple driving along when the wife spots a newly married couple in the vehicle ahead. She exclaims, “Look at them, Harold! Would you just look at them?” She continues, “She’s all scrunched up next to him with her head on his shoulder…” She sighs, “Harold, do you remember when we used to do that? I would sit next to you with my head on your shoulder…” She sighs again. “Look at us, Harold. Just look at us! You’re way over there under the steering wheel and I’m way over here next to the door. What happened to us, Harold?” She sighs even more. Harold was a man of few words. Ten miles later, he cleared his throat and said, “I never moved.” The same is true in our relationship with the savior. God is as near to us as He has always been. It is us that from time to time lose faith and move away from Him. He has promised to never leave us but like the father in Mark 9:24 we cry out “Lord, I believe; help my unbelief.” In other words, we never reach self-sufficiency. Growing in faith is a constant daily renewing of our trust in Him.
To forsake another person is to leave them entirely, usually in a moment of need. I’m glad our savior has promised to never leave us or forsake us. Over 100 times in the Bible we are told God will never leave us nor forsake us. To repeat it so many times and in so many different ways, He must have known we would struggle with this concept. Scholars call it parallelism, which means to restate something several different ways for emphasis. We assume if we struggle, He must not be with us. When we narrow our focus so all we can see are the challenges along the way and the things that are going wrong, it will keep us from understanding that God is compassionate, loving and faithful to bring forth His promises to us. The lyricist says, “He is moving in your life even when you can’t see it. Maybe you just haven’t seen it yet”.
Trusting He’s With You
The Book of Acts teaches that He sent a comforter to be with us, to encourage us when we’re weak, to guide us and to help us see right from wrong. In this, we can be confident. “God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in times of trouble.”(Psalms 46:1)
I am reminded of an invitation to golf at a swank Country Club in Boca. As I was parking, the car a caddie came to the car and introduced himself as Josh. Josh took my clubs and directed me to the locker room to change. After changing my shoes and a little stretching, I headed to the driving range. Josh was waiting for me there with my clubs set up. As I worked my clubs from wedges to the driver, Josh watched closely, sometimes asking me how I thought I hit a certain club and then making notes on a card. When it was time to go to the first tee Josh told me to enjoy myself he would be carrying my clubs. Now, this is important because, on the regular courses where I golf, folks carry their own clubs or put them on an electric cart. We make decisions based on our own beliefs, thoughts, and desires. We don’t have someone guiding us. In other words, the caddie knew the course and he had an understanding of my strengths and weaknesses. He knew how far I could hit various clubs. He knew the blind spots on the course and he knew how to read the greens and advise me. When I arrived at the first tee, Josh was there waiting for me. From my car to the first tee, he was developing a relationship with me. All I had to do was to make the decision to trust Josh with my total game.
On a par 5, I had hit a beautiful drive down the middle of the fairway. I asked for my 3-wood for the next shot over the water. Josh said, “You can’t get over, there’s wind down there. Lay up with your 5 iron”. I was going to show him, I was feeling good and swinging well. I could handle the challenge before me. I appreciated his advice but he didn’t really know me. I struck the 3-wood perfectly; the ball starting out low and rose like a plane takes off. As I posed in my finish position waiting for the ball to land in the fairway on the other side of the water – splash! The wind had held it up just as Josh had explained. He winked at me and told me not to worry; he would still guide me for the rest of the round. See Josh knew the dangers in front of me and he knew my swing. After that, I listened to Josh’s instructions for the rest of the round and played one of my best rounds of the year. I was able to accomplish this because Josh was carrying my heavy bag, giving me instructions, warning me of upcoming danger, advising me of my best option given my skill level and the situation. However, I had the free will to follow his lead or not.
It is the same in your relationship with the Holy Spirit. The Father has sent the Holy Spirit who is standing on the tee box waiting for you to accept Him as your life caddie. Before each shot or decision, talk it over and strategize with Him. Just like golf, life is better when we don’t play it alone. Jesus unconditionally loves you and wants to guide you around the course of life. He has provided us a yardage book, the Bible, which identifies the pitfalls of our course. It instructs us on how to prepare and how to identify for the challenges of life.
Unlike the caddie, Jesus can forgive your bad shots and wipe them off your scorecard. He wants you to reach out to Him in good times and in bad times. In the words of Ken Blanchard, “ you have a chance to have the ultimate Mulligan in your life. Someone who will forgive you for your bad shots, someone who will forgive you for your transgressions, and someone who will stand beside you and never leave you”. He promised in Matthew 28:20, “ . . . and be sure of this: I am with you always, even until the end of the age”. Always literally means all day. The Holy Spirit will never leave you. He has set you on a journey. He has a plan for your destiny. Yet, you have the free will to follow his lead or not.
Last month we celebrated His power over death. This month we celebrate His power in our lives. Now that you understand His presence in your life, you can join Smokie Norful in praising Him for never leaving you nor forsaking you:
My prayer for each of you is that you will make the pivotal choice to tee it up with God and seek to play His course. That you will embrace the plan God has for your life. He will never leave you nor forsake you.
Dear Heavenly Father,
We thank you for dying on the cross for our sins; yet, we thank you even more for defeating death. Help us to always remember that you are always with us. You sent the Holy Spirit to comfort and guide us. Very much is promised to our believing. The enemy desires to deceive or destroy our belief. However, your Word teaches us that faith and belief prove to the mind, the reality of things that cannot be seen by the eye. Help us to always consult you before our every decision. You are a good God, and you only have what’s best for us.
In Jesus name we pray. Amen.
Thank you for allowing me to speak into your life. Hey, spend a few moments of quiet time discovering your application of what you just read by clicking this link myTime with God
The life narratives of young people significantly impact their motivational profile as responsible agents and owners of their choices and actions. Duke University professor of philosophy Owen Flanagan defines life narratives as “imposing continuity on those salient experiences that serve to define the individual and enable persons to understand themselves and to be re-identified as the same entity over time.” The experiences that provide meaning to young people are framed by an amalgamation of lived experiences and memories. An adolescent’s assumed identity will be based on how well they have been prepared to process the sum of the identifications, real or perceived, superimposed on them by the common societal narratives within their community. The continuous and constant messages they receive influence the decisions and choices they make about who they are (identity) and how they feel about themselves (introspections).
Identity and introspection play a significant role in determining the self-conception and value adolescents ascribe to themselves. Identities are composed of self-identity, cultural and racial identity, collective identity, and identity in Christ. David Jopling defines identities as “the repositories for much of what we absorb in the world and are filters through which our lived experience is processed and interpreted.” Introspections are composed of self-awareness, self-understanding, self-experience, self-respect, self-worth, self-evaluation and self-verification. Ulric Neisser defines introspections as “levels of consciousness of oneself as the subject captured through self-specifying information from differing origins and social experiences.”
Youth are active agents in a broad ecology of relationships and every adult brings or provides different sets of social supports. Author Bonnie Benard, credited with creating the Resiliency Framework, says, “Studies have shown that caring and support are the most powerful adolescent development tools because they address a shared humanity and transcend ethnic, social class, geographical, and historical boundaries. It is the need for love, respect, connectedness, meaningful involvement and belonging.” Social support can be defined as “an individual’s perceptions of general support or specific supportive behaviors (available or enacted upon) from people in their social network which enhances functioning and/or may buffer them from adverse outcomes.” The development of resilience is disrupted when social location, social interaction, and individual experiences challenge normal youth development.
Protective factors such as family support system, a good educational environment, a church home, after school activitiesand sports play a role in helping youth overcome the potential negative effects associated with experiences and interactions faced in their community. The National Research Council defines protective factor as “a characteristic at the biological, psychological, family, or community (including peers and culture) level that is associated with a lower likelihood of problem outcomes or that reduces the negative impact of a risk factor on problem outcomes.” While the parents and family members have the primary responsibility for providing the protective factors to overcome risk, on a symbolic or experiential level, mentors are an important contributor to the adolescent through their relational activities. Researcher Dennis Roedder says, “Relationships socialize youth and subsequently encourage identity development.” The adolescent’s development and ability to process their experiences depends on trustworthy interactions with the adults, peers, and community in which they reside. Erik Erickson says, “Identity formation employs a process of simultaneous reflection and observation, a process taking place on all levels of mental functioning, by which the individual judges himself in the light of what they perceives to be the way in which others judge them in comparison to themselves.”
When provided the tools to grapple jointly with developing a resilient response to their challenges, youth can use societal challenges as motivation to fuel their destiny rather than as roadblocks that lead them in a negative direction. Some use things like academics, athletics, or the arts as agency and motivation to succeed and disprove the narrative. For others, their awareness of societal inconsistencies overwhelms their identity development. The constant internal negotiation of their identity, contextualized by their surrounding conditions, can lead to the conscious choice of an oppositional stance in order to survive. They ignore the real consequences of embracing a high-risk lifestyle as they internalize mounting frustrations and make life-altering decisions to define who they are by what they are against.
Well-formed identities can only be incrementally changed by social context and relationships. Youth make thousands of decisions each day in response to their understanding of their experiences; each decision having a cumulative effect on their future. Their experiences lead to a need to share not only their hopes, dreams, and experiences but also their questions, disappointments, and fears while depending on adults to help them discern unspoken moods and desires to ensure proper decision making and implementation. Never stop speaking and living truth into their lives, but don’t be surprised if they don’t immediately care to hear or embrace what you are saying. On one hand our youth are living lives that create a common source of conflict about their future:
They don’t know where they are;
They don’t know where they are going;
They don’t know when they will get there;
They don’t want to be told what they should be doing;
They are in a great hurry to go somewhere.
While at the same time they are moldable, tender, wanting guidance; capable of great loyalty and commitment. When youth have no vision to see down the road, they don’t know how to live their lives. Their present has meaning only when they see the purpose and plan of their future.
The imperatives of how adults respond are based on the indicatives of who they are and the order is not reversible. In other words, what we think or believe about someone will determine how we define them, which will influence the way we treat them. Charged with providing developmental guidance to young people, we are called to seek the knowledge and understanding to become culturally attuned and prepared to support the challenges of identity development. Youth need adults to understand them and invest time to build relationships. Human nature is relational by definition. Relationships shape understandings, expectations, desires, and ideas about what is possible. We all can thrive in relational communities. The importance of this is that experiences affect their self-concept; self-concept is key to an achieved identity and social location plays a significant role in authenticating one’s self-concept. If we can compassionately accompany young people as their identities are amplified, challenged and rearranged by adolescent experiences then their identity will be secure and their decisions and choices will move them in a positive direction toward their DESTINY. Youth just need support and direction. Who knows, we may be helping the next doctor, lawyer, business owner or president.
