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When Promises Are Broken

Dr. I. David Byrd July 1, 2019

 

“If a man makes a promise to the LORD or says he will do something special, he must keep his promise. He must do what he said”

Numbers 30:2(NCV)

We have spent the first six months of 2019 unpacking the many promises of God. We’ve seen the grace and mercy He provides to us day by day. We’ve seen that we can depend on His promises. We’ve search scripture to confirm His promises. Yet, doubt, disappointment or disillusion creep in when we think He has not fulfilled His promise to us. This month we pause, turn the spotlight, flip the script, reframe the focus to explore the promises we have made to God and ask, “Can He depend on the promises we have made to Him?”

When you give your word, you’re putting your honor on the line. You’re implying that others can trust you because you have integrity. Have you ever considered how God hears the fulfillment of your promises to Him –

I’m willing to offer a belief in you generally, but without specifics attached to it. If what you are asking is too hard for me to do, you’ll understand if I avoid it. I will sacrifice for others as long as it does not affect my own self-interest as I face life’s daily events. I studied your Word and used my intellect to discern all that was right and wrong with it. Besides, it was written by imperfect men. I ignore the parts that don’t make sense or make me uncomfortable. I’ll proclaim my allegiance to you by judging people on the parts that don’t inconvenience me. I’m willing to love those who are like me but as your Word says, I’m required to love my neighbor not those others. I’m not a minister so, at my own discretion, I will tell others about the Good News. I asked you to alleviate that situation and you told me “your grace is sufficient”; I know you understand that’s not quite going to cut it. 

 

Sound crazy? Before you too quickly dismiss this and while you may not audibly say these things to God, have you not conveyed these words to Him by your words and actions? God expects all true believers to be His emissaries. One day we will all have to stand before the Creator and answer the question, did we take Him at His Word and keep our promise?

 

The most basic promise of most believers is to serve Him. Serving is the obligation to love Him. John 14:15 defines loving Him as keeping His commandments. There is a direct link between His commandments and His promises. They are our reward for a life of faith, belief, and devotion. When we prioritize, pick or choose which commandment to focus on, we open the door for the enemy to get into our heads. My friend says, “If the enemy can cause us to doubt one promise from God to us, then over time that will cascade into uncountable other questions creeping into our heads and causing more doubt.”

Today I pose a set of questions that will allow you to unpack how well you have kept your promises to Him. Grab a cup of coffee, tea or your favorite beverage. Find a quiet space to work through them. You can choose how honest to be with yourself in your answers. This is between you and God. These questions are not designed to challenge you from my own perspective. It is the Word of God, the Word that Christ committed to His Church, and the Word that we are commissioned to defend and proclaim. The Word that can keep the Church strong and pure if we believe it and obey it. We convey our promises to Him by our actions and our deeds. Our actions should seek to please God, not have God please us. Special thanks to Chuck Bengochea and Tim Donoho for allowing me to integrate some of their questions with my own:

 

1. What real sacrifices have you made for Christ? The operative word is sacrifices. Not what have you done for Christ, but what have you truly sacrificed. Webster defines sacrifice as, “forfeiture of something highly valued for the sake of one considered to have a greater value or claim”

 

2. What pain have you suffered for God? List 3 examples

 

3. List three significant gifts that you have given to God that forced you to change your lifestyle for at least three months.

 

4. If you knew you were going to die soon, what legacy would you leave behind that would benefit the body of Christ?

 

5. Have you ever been so hungry for the Word of God that you couldn’t sleep until you had meditated on it for a while?

 

6. What does it look like to “Seek God with all of your heart”? What changes would you have to make?

 

7. Do you know God well enough that He could brag on you if He wanted to? What would He say?

 

8. Learning to fully surrender to God is a journey; being willing to release your families, your financial future, and your health can be very difficult. Where are you on that journey? What do you still hold onto tightly and why? What do you think would be the outcome if you fully released that part of your life to God?

These are brutal questions for some. For others, these will be the most difficult questions that we have to answer in demonstrating your promise to God. Some of you simply won’t attempt to answer because the spaces for answers might be blank. I pray your first response will be to drop to your knees and join me in asking God to forgive us for not offering him our best.

Processing your answers will set you on a journey. You will find or awaken a depth of faith that wasn’t previously present. It is not too late to fulfill your promise to God; start today working on doing what His Word asks you to do and watch the blessings of the Lord come. E-mail me the challenges, roadblocks, and detours you experience on this journey so that I may pray with you and encourage you as you engage, discern and make conscious choices as you walk out your destiny.

 

Father God,

 Forgive me for not always holding up my side of this covenant relationship. Use me as Your tool, not for my own purpose, but for Yours. Inspire me each day to seek out how I might truly be a worthy servant to You. Give me the opportunity to share my faith in You with others in both my words and actions. And give me the courage to do it boldly, without fear of what the results might be, knowing that it is solely under Your providence what the outcome will be.

 In Jesus name we pray, Amen

 

 

 

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Part 2: Why People Struggle with Consistency

Author: Adam Sicinski, IQ Matrix
Adam is a qualified life coach residing in Melbourne, Australia. His life coaching work is however somewhat unorthodox. It’s unique and a little different in the way that Adam uses mind maps and visual thinking principles. Over a period of 8 years, Adam has developed over 300 self-growth mind maps that he calls IQ Matrices.

Even though the concept of staying consistent seems very simple on the surface, most people do struggle with this idea. They find it difficult to stay consistent because there are just too many distractions. People are simply not focused, committed or disciplined enough to stick with something in the short-term for long-term results.

The key reason why most people struggle with staying consistent over the long-term is that they only live for the short-term. In other words, if they don’t get immediate results from their actions, they don’t see the point with continuing with those actions over the long-haul. However, the habit of consistency isn’t about obtaining quick results. It’s rather about making incremental progress and improvements over an extended period of time.

Consider for a moment a skill that you have developed over the years. Maybe you’re a good singer or guitar player. Maybe you’re a great dancer or can speak a foreign language very well. No matter what skill you developed, you developed this skill over many weeks, months and years. And you developed it because you applied yourself consistently toward learning that particular skill.

A Practical Example of Consistency-in-Action

Consider for a moment a child learning how to shoot a basketball. In the beginning the child is shown the proper technique of how to shoot the ball. However, early on things aren’t easy. They practice and practice the proper motion and movement but results are just hard to come by. The basket just seems too small and too far away. However, the child persists with practicing their shooting technique over many weeks, months and years. And through repetition they start shooting more baskets.

The results become more consistent over time because of the muscle memory the child has developed through the act of repetition. Furthermore, repetition has helped the child to better understand what works and what doesn’t work while shooting the basketball. In other words, they have learned from their mistakes and errors and made the necessary adjustments along the way.

Years down the track shooting a basketball has become second nature, and it’s all because they committed themselves in the beginning to consistent daily practice through repetition.

This is of course just one example of consistency-in-action. It’s just one example of how doing something consistently over a period of time can reap incredible results. However, what if the child didn’t commit him or herself to daily practice? What if they just practiced once or twice per month? What difference would that have made years down the track? Obviously a tremendous amount of difference.

You Are Already Applying Consistency-in-Action

There are no quick results when it comes to a commitment to consistency. Consistency is rather about making incremental improvements over time. The results you are after will eventually come, however they will only come over an extended period of time when you commit yourself to consistency-in-action.

Now of course if for any reason you feel that this is something that’s difficult to do, then consider for a moment all the poor habits that people develop over time.

For instance, regularly snacking on that candy bar or overeating just a little each day over the course of many years can lead to major health concerns, obesity and mobility issues. But of course you probably won’t notice what overeating “just a little today” is doing to you, because it really doesn’t make much of a difference “today”. It probably won’t even make much of a difference tomorrow or next week, and maybe not even next month. But over the course of several years, overeating a little each day makes a significant difference; for that is when you finally start seeing the results from your consistent daily actions, and therein lies the power of consistency.

This is just one example of many where we use consistency-in-action in a very negative and limiting way. I’m sure you can probably think of at least a dozen more examples.

Given this, it’s quite clear that we are certainly capable of applying the consistency habit into our lives. However, from here-on-in it will all be about applying it in the right way to help you achieve your desired goals and objectives.

IQ Matrix strives to help you improve and maximize your potential through the use of a potent combination of mind mapping and life coaching principles that provide you with the guidance you need to overcome life’s toughest challenges.  Visit IQ Matrix at www.iqmatrix.com

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An Adolescent’s Identity Influences Their Decision and Choices

The life narratives of young people significantly impact their motivational profile as responsible agents and owners of their choices and actions. Duke University professor of philosophy Owen Flanagan defines life narratives as “imposing continuity on those salient experiences that serve to define the individual and enable persons to understand themselves and to be re-identified as the same entity over time.” The experiences that provide meaning to young people are framed by an amalgamation of lived experiences and memories. An adolescent’s assumed identity will be based on how well they have been prepared to process the sum of the identifications, real or perceived, superimposed on them by the common societal narratives within their community. The continuous and constant messages they receive influence the decisions and choices they make about who they are (identity) and how they feel about themselves (introspections).

Identity and introspection play a significant role in determining the self-conception and value adolescents ascribe to themselves. Identities are composed of self-identity, cultural and racial identity, collective identity, and identity in Christ. David Jopling defines identities as “the repositories for much of what we absorb in the world and are filters through which our lived experience is processed and interpreted.” Introspections are composed of self-awareness, self-understanding, self-experience, self-respect, self-worth, self-evaluation and self-verification. Ulric Neisser defines introspections as “levels of consciousness of oneself as the subject captured through self-specifying information from differing origins and social experiences.”

Youth are active agents in a broad ecology of relationships and every adult brings or provides different sets of social supports. Author Bonnie Benard, credited with creating the Resiliency Framework, says, “Studies have shown that caring and support are the most powerful adolescent development tools because they address a shared humanity and transcend ethnic, social class, geographical, and historical boundaries. It is the need for love, respect, connectedness, meaningful involvement and belonging.” Social support can be defined as “an individual’s perceptions of general support or specific supportive behaviors (available or enacted upon) from people in their social network which enhances functioning and/or may buffer them from adverse outcomes.” The development of resilience is disrupted when social location, social interaction, and individual experiences challenge normal youth development.

 

Protective factors such as family support system, a good educational environment, a church home, after school activities and sports play a role in helping youth overcome the potential negative effects associated with experiences and interactions faced in their community. The National Research Council defines protective factor as “a characteristic at the biological, psychological, family, or community (including peers and culture) level that is associated with a lower likelihood of problem outcomes or that reduces the negative impact of a risk factor on problem outcomes.” While the parents and family members have the primary responsibility for providing the protective factors to overcome risk, on a symbolic or experiential level, mentors are an important contributor to the adolescent through their relational activities. Researcher Dennis Roedder says, “Relationships socialize youth and subsequently encourage identity development.” The adolescent’s development and ability to process their experiences depends on trustworthy interactions with the adults, peers, and community in which they reside. Erik Erickson says, “Identity formation employs a process of simultaneous reflection and observation, a process taking place on all levels of mental functioning, by which the individual judges himself in the light of what they perceives to be the way in which others judge them in comparison to themselves.”

 

When provided the tools to grapple jointly with developing a resilient response to their challenges, youth can use societal challenges as motivation to fuel their destiny rather than as roadblocks that lead them in a negative direction. Some use things like academics, athletics, or the arts as agency and motivation to succeed and disprove the narrative. For others, their awareness of societal inconsistencies overwhelms their identity development. The constant internal negotiation of their identity, contextualized by their surrounding conditions, can lead to the conscious choice of an oppositional stance in order to survive. They ignore the real consequences of embracing a high-risk lifestyle as they internalize mounting frustrations and make life-altering decisions to define who they are by what they are against.

 

Well-formed identities can only be incrementally changed by social context and relationships. Youth make thousands of decisions each day in response to their understanding of their experiences; each decision having a cumulative effect on their future. Their experiences lead to a need to share not only their hopes, dreams, and experiences but also their questions, disappointments, and fears while depending on adults to help them discern unspoken moods and desires to ensure proper decision making and implementation. Never stop speaking and living truth into their lives, but don’t be surprised if they don’t immediately care to hear or embrace what you are saying. On one hand our youth are living lives that create a common source of conflict about their future:

  • They don’t know where they are;
  • They don’t know where they are going;
  • They don’t know when they will get there;
  • They don’t want to be told what they should be doing;
  • They are in a great hurry to go somewhere.

While at the same time they are moldable, tender, wanting guidance; capable of great loyalty and commitment. When youth have no vision to see down the road, they don’t know how to live their lives. Their present has meaning only when they see the purpose and plan of their future.

 

The imperatives of how adults respond are based on the indicatives of who they are and the order is not reversible. In other words, what we think or believe about someone will determine how we define them, which will influence the way we treat them. Charged with providing developmental guidance to young people, we are called to seek the knowledge and understanding to become culturally attuned and prepared to support the challenges of identity development. Youth need adults to understand them and invest time to build relationships. Human nature is relational by definition. Relationships shape understandings, expectations, desires, and ideas about what is possible. We all can thrive in relational communities. The importance of this is that experiences affect their self-concept; self-concept is key to an achieved identity and social location plays a significant role in authenticating one’s self-concept. If we can compassionately accompany young people as their identities are amplified, challenged and rearranged by adolescent experiences then their identity will be secure and their decisions and choices will move them in a positive direction toward their DESTINY. Youth just need support and direction. Who knows, we may be helping the next doctor, lawyer, business owner or president.

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Changing the Narrative for South Side Students by Creating Ladders to Economic Mobility

 

Statistics from Chicago Public Schools show that only 74% of high school students graduate and a smaller percent go on to college. These numbers add up to a heavy burden on the cultural and economic health of our society. Studies have shown that high school graduates are 5-8 times less likely to be incarcerated and accumulate 10 times more wealth than those headed by dropouts. College graduates earn 60% more than high school graduates; have increased personal/professional mobility and experience improved quality of life for their offspring. These numbers are the summation of thousands of tragic stories for which opportunities are few and hopes are diminished.

Most students have an inherent sense of optimism that they can accomplish any thing they want. Yet many from the south and west sides of Chicago don’t wake up with similar optimism. For some students, school is not valued because the messages they receive from culture, music, peer groups, celebrities and the media suggest sports and entertainment are the path to success. Showing students that there are many achievable alternative routes to success, provides them optimism and awakens hope as they walk out their destiny.

Students make thousands of decision and choices everyday, each having a cumulative affect on reaching their destiny (future). And while Freshman On-Track is a critical make or break academic measure; sophomore year is a critical make or break social measure. Sophomore year is when students begin to become comfortable in defining themselves. It’s the point in life when peer pressure is the driving force for all their decisions – those mundane, critical or life altering. Students call it “The fight to fit”. Our research of 1,500 students in rural, suburban and urban communities identified peer pressure as the top challenge students face. The Barna Research Group conducted a study in which 42% of parents choose peer pressure as the most challenging issues facing their teenagers. “The percentage of young people plagued by peer pressure issues more than doubles once a child reaches high school,” Barna revealed. “That pressure takes many forms: using drugs or alcohol, befriending certain groups of peers, owning specific media technologies, having sexual experiences, wearing particular types of clothing or brands, and possessing a certain attitude.”

Destination Destiny has seen that cultural exposures coupled with high-character mentoring enable students to put peer pressure in context and enables them to focus on a future larger than their block, community or city. A destination without a route leads to meandering and inefficiency.  Exposure and mentoring prepares students to take their intangible cause and build the personal infrastructure to give it life; to make their cause actionable and tangible; to take their vision and make it a reality. Personal infrastructure is made up of the systems and processes that are defined by their values and volitions.  Their decisions and choices are the actions they take to realize their vision. This process prepares them to remove some seemingly simple obstacles and mange the more difficult ones, so they have an opportunity to lift themselves up and reach their potential.

These opportunities drive Destination Destiny’s mission to inspire students to become responsible, high-character global citizens, mobilizing them for significant living as future leaders, husbands and wives. We prepare them to build resilient lives through relational, experiential and educational activities that enable them to realize their passion, potential and purpose. 100% of our students have graduated and gone on to attend college.

If you believe students can achieve an alternative path, join us in providing the skills, exposures, knowledge and the confidence to create ladders of economic mobility. Click this link to support our efforts: ImpactDestiny

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5 Benefits of Educational Travel

International exposure is one of the most valuable experiences in which a high school student can participate. Eric Spina, President of @univofdayton says,”When you immerse yourself in another culture, you develop empathy, you learn to respect differences, you see your life from a different angle, and you confront your fears and inhibitions. These are life-shaping experiences that you just can’t pick up in other ways.” To that end, Former Secretary of Commerce, Penny Sue Pritzker encourages students “to travel and to deepen their cultural fluency, so they can better compete and succeed in the 21st century.”

Todays guest post from Jessica Miller details the benefits of such expereinces:

Anytime you can experience the richness of cultures different from your own — by talking with people of other nationalities, travelling internationally, trying foods from other countries and embracing other educational experiences that fall outside of your comfort zone — you grow and change in positive ways. And this is just the kind of personal development that can help you stand out in the eyes of college admissions counselors and future employers in a competitive field of other strong candidates.

For those who can physically get away, international travel, cultural immersion programs offer unparalleled exposure to the customs, language and everyday life of diverse communities. This experience is imperative for anyone who’s serious about pursuing public service or global relations work as part of a business or political career.

Specifically, here are five ways educational travel can improve your life:

  • Sharpens self-awareness: Gathering firsthand information about the world — seeing different landscapes, experiencing the challenges of certain cultures, listening to the opinions of people in other nations — provides a level of mindfulness that’s often tough to shake. Profound experiences give people a sense of place and purpose, and they establish lifelong values and priorities.

  • Enhances perspective: Exposure to the problems and perks of other lifestyles helps people break out of cultural-centric thinking. Having a broad awareness of how other people live and what other cultures prioritize can trigger solutions and ideas that don’t necessarily rely on familiar habits and comforts. Cultural immersion through travel and service programs can also help break down language barriers and open new channels of lifelong communication.

  • Fosters independence: Living and working for any amount of time in a culture that’s different from home can help in ways more profound than any sleep-away camp or vacation can. This enriching experience challenges students to open their minds regarding food, friends and basic needs. After all, it’s tougher to take things for granted in unfamiliar situations.

  • Strengthens leadership skills: A person who’s been there and done that simply has more credibility than those who rely on lip service. Instead of relying on others’ opinions, travelers establish perspective, confidence and conviction that make it easier to gain the respect of others. Plus, international travel, especially with a group or through a program, provides students with a global network of contacts and references.

  • Demonstrates courage: Travelling away from the comfort of friends, family and familiar surroundings is tough. But doing it shows that a person is interested enough in the rest of the world, and confident enough in him- or herself to venture out and discover other parts of the world. This is a character trait that’s very appealing to colleges and employers.

No matter what your life goals are, travel can provide important perspectives and help you discover what really makes you tick.

Special thank you to Jessica for your insight.  Visit The Young Leader at http://theyoungleader.experiencegla.com/about-the-young-leader/

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Helping Young People To Boldly Proclaim Their Faith

 

 

I had an incredible session on Saturday with a group of young people from all over Illinois and Indiana.  These young people were from multiple denominations and multiple geographical areas(Rural, suburban and Urban).  One of the subjects they discussed that stood out to me was the challenge of being bold in their faith in school, home and in their community.  They felt that while youth workers in their various youth groups are great at leading them to Christ; they aren’t as effectively in equipping them to boldly proclaim their faith in school faced with the immense peer pressure to conform to the world.

After the session I began to wonder how many other young people are in this same boat?   My question to youth workers around the country is – what are your methods of internationally in teaching young people to walk broadly in their faith outside Youth Group?  What are they describing to you as the push back they get from friends or others in their school or community?

What are your young people saying, please have them complete the 3 question What Challenges You?  survey — http://www.cvent.com/d/jcq4wl , so you can compare their answers to those of the rest of the country.  The results are free and available under the Survey Results tab.  The Results are updated every Saturday.

One of the students shared the following website discussion on this topic from christianforum.com  and wanted to share it with you.  Below is a highlight of that Christianforum.com website conversation between 3 people:

 

New Believer

Does anyone else get convicted of this? Before I became a Christian, I would have never been seen telling others about God. I would have never been seen worshiping, praying, or reading the Bible. The day I got saved, I wanted to tell others about Christ. It’s a struggle that I have because I’m always worried that I’ll say the wrong thing. But I get convicted about it if I get the need to share Christ with others, and I don’t. When I do, I start to worry about what others think. Do people think I’m a hypocrite? Do other Christians think I’m weird? Should I be sharing this with others or keep it to myself? These thoughts continue to shut me down. 

I’m sometimes afraid to proclaim my faith because it’s so looked down on these days. Even some Christians aren’t doing it. It’s like they say they know Christ but they blend in with the rest of the world. It’s hard for me to do this because I don’t want to. 

All of my life, I’ve been a very closed and reserved person. Lately I’ve been wanting to open up to others. God has been telling me that I must come out of my shell. But I wonder why God would want me to do this because I have so much self-doubt. I feel like a person who has nothing to offer to others. It’s like I have this nagging doubt that’s telling me to shut up and give up; God would never have a purpose for me.  

I need advice from someone. Is it normal to want to boldly talk about God? Do you ever think people who always talk about God are fakes? Also did you ever get confused about what God wanted you to do? It seems like God wants me to try to learn to talk to others more, but I have this nagging doubt that is discouraging me.

I’m at the point where I’m generally comfortable with talking about God, it’s not all that different from talking about other things where I have a strong belief. If you’re a Christian, then God’s inside of you. You are not only legally aligned with Christ, but Christian beliefs are a major part of who you are. 

 

Sketcher

A trick I guess, to getting comfortable with it is to read the Bible every day, spending good time in thought and prayer about what you’ve read, and what God would have you do. If you immerse yourself in something, it will come out of your mouth. This isn’t to say that you don’t pray for boldness and depend on God for boldness, but you do consume his word on a regular basis so that you can hear him all the clearer. When you’re doing that, it’s amazing how the Holy Spirit can use you in ways that you would never expect.

Note that this isn’t speaking up out of guilt. I think this is a very common mistake among Christians. You probably know the drill by now – the Holy Spirit prompts you to speak to someone, you keep your mouth shut, and out of guilt you try to overcompensate. I believe we really need to accept the Lord’s forgiveness and move on rather than to try and force open windows which have long since closed. No, for those people, you should be moved to prayer – and maybe, God will open up another window. But you need to forgive yourself and move on, being ready but having no guilt. If that window doesn’t happen again in the next week, then God knows what he’s doing. He’s allowing you to grow before the next time with that person, if there is one – and growing always takes a while.

 

Emily

Dear New_Believer. In Matthew, chapter 22, verses 35-40, Jesus tells a Lawyer: ” The first and great Commandment is: Love thy God with all thy heart, with all thy soul, and with all thy mind. The second is like it: Love thy neighbour as thyself.” Then Jesus states this fact: ” On these two Commandments hang all the Law and the Prophets.” It is Love what God wants from us, selfless and beneficial. Instead of telling people about your faith, let them see your Love for God and for your neighbour, and only when you are being asked why, or told you are very kind, let your Love for God and for your neighbour become a talking-point. God will give you opportunities, and then your deeds speak for themselves. You will find in time, that being helpful and kind, and never use angry or hurtful words, will testify to your faith much more than ever words can do. When the Bible tells us to Repent, it is telling us to change from being selfish and unloving, to being loving and caring, to be a representative of our loving God. God is our Heavenly Father, and Jesus died that we might live, show your love to God and to your neighbour, ( all you know and all you meet) with following the two most important Commandments. God will see your efforts, and God will approve and bless you, New_Believer. You might stumble often, but get up and ask God`s forgiveness, and God will forgive you as you will forgive all who sin/transgress against you. You will find too, that by reading out of the Bible and asking Jesus to help and guide you, words will come quite easy to you. I say this with love and assurance. Greetings from Emmy, your sister in Christ.

 

 

How are you equipping young people to boldly proclaim their faith in your youth groups?  Share your methods with us by joining the conversation; you will be a blessing to the other readers.

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Don’t Neglect Your First Ministry


 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

REVIVE, RENEW, REFRESH, RECONNECT

We in the ministry spend considerable time with young people or Youth Workers at the expense of our families.  This simple post is designed to remind you to not neglect taking time to get away with your family.  Take time to rev up your family relationship, read, rest and recharge.  (Oh yes, and let your wife shop)  Before you can be a blessing to anyone else, your own home must first be blessed.  Home ministry is the God-given requirement we have as husbands or wives to love our spouses as God loves us.  If we are parents, it includes our role to love and raise our children according to His truth.  The Bible commands us to invest in our spouse and children by nurturing them, helping them develop intellectually, physically, relationally, and spiritually.

A Husband is to love his wife as Christ loved the church (Ephesians 5:25)

Wives are to submit to their husbands “as to the Lord” (Ephesians 5:22)

Parents are to raise godly children to be the next generation of those who love the Lord with all their hearts (Proverbs 22:6; Ephesians 6:4)

The scriptural order of priorities is God, spouse, children and then others.

 

Thanks for reading

 

Stay encouraged, stay engaged and don’t give up on our young people.  It’s not their desire to fall so hold them up.

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Youth Ministry Has Taken An Exciting New Directions — It’s Called The New Urban!!!

Happy New Year everyone.

I have just returned from a couple weeks vacation in Paris with my wife’s family.  My time away allowed me to reflect on the past few years and where I see the future of youth ministry.   As I said on facebook the other day – My wife asked me to step away from the IPad, IPhone and email while we were away.  I was able to do some deep reading, contemplative, reflective, introspective thinking and I was able to spend some incredible downtime with God in prayer and fasting.

 

As a result of this time, today we are re-launching our entire Platform – our ministry, social media, workshop series and sermons under the forward looking focus on Leadership in the New Urban.  We will focus on the new models required in ministering to all young people, in keeping our sanity and in networking outside our familiar circles.

 

These are exciting times for those of us who labor in the vineyard.  The urban landscape has changed in such a way that nothing is what it use to be.  The challenges our young people face are so expansive and can no longer be approached through our previous methods.  So what is the New Urban?  The new urban is a lifestyle that permeates all segments of life.  It’s non geographical.  No longer viewed through the lens of suburban, urban or rural.  Check out your young people, everyone’s into the music, the dress, activities and the talk of the new urban.   It’s multicultural, multiracial and multigenerational.  It’s cosmopolitan meets the thug, its hip-hop with a violin and everything in between.

 

 

MINISTERING TO YOUNG PEOPLE

For Youth Workers, the New Urban will require us to be at the top of our relational, relevant and revelatory game.  Young people don’t want to be entertained, taken for granted or spoon feed.  They are living in a world where everything goes and are questioning why they shouldn’t participate.   Peer pressure to conform to the world view is intense.  The world is telling them there are no limits, no morals and no judgement of anything they do.  Yet they want to know how to make God honoring decisions in a world where morality seems to be fading.  They want to see us “Walk The Talk”.  They don’t want us to be their best friends; they want adults who will walk along side them through their mess, guiding them along the way.  Pizza is great, but presence is better.  Lights are nice, but loving is more impactful.  Gimmicks are interesting, but grace is more desired.  Entertainment is fun, but equipping is long lasting.   Dodgeball is engaging,but destiny is the focus is.

 

 

UNDERGIRDING YOUTH WORKERS

Let’s face it, we are challenged with the new urban also.  This world is waxing worse and worse right in front of us and we are about two steps ahead of the young people in keeping up and understanding what’s going on in the secular culture.  We are dealing with situations we never expected the young people we minister to would be involved in at this age.  Our only advantage is our spiritual maturity and experience in dealing with the idols of the world.  The Bible tells us, “we must know the times. . .”.  Even though, I have to admit, sometimes I struggle with the burden of our young people. The weight of their plight brings me to tears.  But we know all of our problems, all of our pain, all of our situations, all of our heart ache can be left at the feet of Jesus.  Place your cares upon Him, He will hear your call.  We serve a God who is able to do exceedingly and abundantly above all we can imagine.  Trust in His Word, you know none of this is new to Him.  Stay encouraged and on your knees.

 

 

NETWORKING TO STRENGTHEN EACH OTHER

If we are willing to share our gifts, talents, resources and knowledge we will prevail.  If we are willing to network with other ministries in and outside of our normal circles; if we stay unified in the Kingdom building, holding each other up, praying for each other, strengthening each other in our walk, we will prevail.  Building strong networks take time, energy, empathy, open minds and passion.  In a world of social media, it is easy to make connections, but these connections are not a network.  The strength of your network is more important than the size of your network because, in the end, a strong network is something that you carry with you.  Today’s youth workers need to be able to build networks and work with others to address our young peoples challenges.  In the past it was possible to minister on your own and stay in your personal circle but today, requires sharing information and collaborating due to the overlapping of our young people’s experiences. Where we live is irrelevant, the size of our church is irrelevant, what we did in the past is irrelevant.  To assist parents in the spiritual development of their children, we must press toward to the mark . . .together.

So my brothers and sisters in Christ, stand fast in one spirit, with one mind striving together for the faith of the gospel.  I offer this prayer of encouragement from the words of the songstress Laura Stong’s Blessings   :

Dear God;

We pray for blessings
. We pray for peace.


Comfort for family, protection while we sleep
.  We pray for healing, for prosperity.

We pray for your mighty hand to ease our suffering

All the while, You hear each spoken need
 yet love us way too much to give us lesser things

We pray for wisdom
. Your voice to hear
.

And we cry in anger when we cannot feel You near

We doubt Your goodness, we doubt Your love,
 as if every promise from Your Word is not enough

All the while, You hear each desperate plea
 and long that we have faith to believe

.

What if our greatest disappointments
 or the aching of this life,
 is the revealing of a greater thirst this world can’t satisfy
.

‘Cause what if Your blessings come through raindrops
, what if your healing comes through tears.


What if a thousand sleepless nights
 are what it takes to know You’re near

And what if trials of this life
: the rain, the storms, the hardest nights
 are Your mercies in disguise.

In Jesus name . . . Amen.

 

Welcome to the New Urban, ready or not here we go . . .

 

 

Actions                                    Preferences

 

                         Attitudes                                     Perspectives

 

Aspirations                                    Principles

 

 

 

 

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Debunking the Misperceptions, Misunderstandings and Misrepresentations of Urban Ministry

 

 

 

 

Today we will layout a foundational picture to help those with the intent of serving in urban communities across America understand what urban ministry is and isn’t and how to successfully minister to young people in your community.

In summary – The dynamics of urban ministry are like a Hologram composed of endless layers. Each layer with its unique idiosyncrasies adds many additional non-parallel layers, but all the layers are in relationship of varying impact and influence.

 

 

So let’s break this complex statement into a few of its distinctive:

 

 1.  Urban ministry is African, African American, Asian, Caucasian, Chinese, Haitian, Hispanic, and several other multicultural groups. 

For the last 10 years I have watched and witnessed a significant uptick in the number of groups, organizations and individuals from outside the urban community trying to come into the urban community with their definitions of urban and versions of “how to do urban youth ministry” curriculum and programs.  The conversation really starts with – how are you defining Urban?  Are you really trying to say minorities or are you looking at the intercity which is a melting pot of all different races, religions and denominations.  Tightly compacted groups of people trying to live together in harmony.  Each race living integrated with, next to or near other races.  Each community with it’s unique set of challenges.  Those challenges are community based not race based.

Implications: No one group defines urban ministry, no single solution exist to minister to urban young people.  Biblical principles or precepts are not racial they are inclusive.  Ministry is relational, the more we are in relationship with each other the better we can all minister to young people.

 

 

 2. There are a significant number of urban leaders doing great things to engage and equip young people, but are not trying to hype it.

I continuously see people from outside the urban communities come in with perceptions that they need to teach urban leaders how to do ministry.  They don’t take the time to first observe or listen directly to those currently ministering.  To ask questions and gain an understanding of what they are currently doing.  To engage in a dialogue of what they feel is and isn’t working and what is the uniqueness of the environment in which they minister.  They don’t seek out the successful leaders to avoid having to viewing them as equals.  I understand the concept – you associate with whom you know.  But like Nehemiah who unless he first assessed the damage and examined the degree of brokenness, couldn’t begin to know what that job would entail.

Implications: The view of those inside your circle can become limited and jaded based on false assumptions and bias.    Take the time develop relationships with leaders in the urban community and learn what they are doing.  Seek first to understand what the different leaders are doing.  You will find they have innovative ministries that they don’t spend time promoting; they just keep doing good things with young people.

 

 

 3. The issues of urban youth are not different from that of suburban and rural youth

Young people face a common set of issues across all communities.  The difference comes in the veracity and manifestation in each environment.   Sexual pressure, bulling, peer pressure, anger, gender identity, self-confidence, drugs and alcohol, respect for parents, rejection, violence, wise choices of music, media and friends.  It’s everywhere.  Some suburban and rural communities are experiencing these at a greater rate than some urban communities.

Implications: Don’t immediately assume every urban kids life experiences are negative.  The key is being relational and intentional in understanding the challenges your young people face and helping them use biblical principals to deal with these challenges within the context of the environment in which they exist.  Focus on bringing them from where they are to where they need to be.

 

 

 4. You need more than an urban curriculum to minister to urban youth. 

Everyone wants to be helpful and valuable, but there is no turnkey solution.  You must invest the time to understand the challenges young people face and prayerfully seek God for direction in helping ground them in the biblical solutions to the challenges they face.  If you travel across the country you will find different views of ministering to kids from city to city.  Contrasting views even within the different communities OF each city.  There are churches that are in desperate need of resources; on the other end there are churches that have significant resources.  There are Caucasian churches in the heart of what were traditionally black communities.  And there are black and Hispanic churches in wealthy communities.  There are international churches that speak only their native language and there are international churches that speak English.

Implications: There is no “one size fits all” turnkey solution, every ministry must be customized to fit the specific needs of its group in the context of the beliefs of its congregation.

 

 

5. There is no one person that can speak on behalf of the entire urban community

Each person can give you A perspective, not THE perspective.  When someone claims to be the “expert” in urban youth ministry, first ask him or her to describe the community from which they come, the resources available to them, the size of their congregation, the central focus of their ministry, the demographics of the people they minister to and their denominational background.  And then most importantly, have them compare that to another community in which they have served young people.  Not gone in and preached then left, but where they have actually served.

Implications: Those with the biblical responsible for bringing up the next generation of young people must be able to clearly discern the advice they are getting and the affects it will have on the lives of those young people under their unique care.  Listen to their experiences, but then run it through the filter of your specific community.  My father use to say – “chew the meat and spit out the bone”

 

 

 6. Hip Hop does not define the urban youth ministry culture

Culture varies from church to church and community to community.  Hip Hop is not the music of every urban person; baggie jeans and hoodies are not the choice of clothing for every person.  Too many stereotypes are attached to urban that only fit a segment of the population.  There are urban churches where young people are engaged and have a thirst for God.  Where parents are involved and men are engaged in the lives of young people.  There are churches with a mix of those attributes and unfortunately, there are churches with very little of this.

Implications: Taylor your approach to fit the uniqueness of the community in which you minister.  Understand there are kids that like opera, camping and who desire to play musical instruments.  Every young person does not want to be rappers, athletes or entertainers.

 

 

7. Urban Youth ministry does not have to replicate the secular world and move away from religion in order to be relevant and draw young people to Jesus Christ.

Young leaders are trying to define urban youth ministry as needing to mimic the secular world in dress, style, language and lingo.  There is quite a bit of rhetoric that the church is not relevant because it does not profess the social view they want to live under.  Why would someone want to be part of that which you continuously put down?  The reality is the Bible in Romans 12:1- 2 tells us to be separated from this world – To be in this world but not of this world.  And in the next verse it tells us to not think more highly of ourselves than we ought to.

The key to connecting is being relational; it’s about being real with young people.  Its not about trying to act like the them, to dress like them and talk like them.  That’s not how you connect with them.  When they see you have a genuine concern for them, the challenges they face and have the time to walk with them through their challenges.  When they see you care about them and this is not a platform for you to come up, you can draw them in.  Young people are looking for someone to look up to, individuals to model their lives after.   They follow more what you do then what you say.  So make sure your walk is representative of the life you want them to replicate.

If we continue to talk about the church not being relevant and talk down the actions of non-perfect people within the church; then young people will not want to be part of that.  We have to be seen encouraging one another, holding one another up during times of weakness, supporting one another.  Advocating, interceding and mediating on behalf of one another.  But a lot of time is spent putting down churches, church leaders and how what the church is doing is so wrong.

 

Implications: Young people become confused when we try to be the world.  Because we don’t do the world as well as the world, we look fake and phony to them.  And most importantly, it is the Word of God that saves young people not us.  So bring the Word to the young people.  It will not return void.

 

Let’s discuss these 7 distinctives, join the conversation.  Let’s hear your thoughts.  Did I miss any?  What would you add?  What additional clarity would you state?

 

Occasionally, I will have guest writers from all around the country that will bring you different perspectives so you can understand that urban ministries are as different as the leaves on the trees and the snowflakes that fall from the sky.  So you will be able to understand how to approach urban ministry in the demographic community in which you exist.  To help young people deal with the unique challenges they face.  Helping them to engage, discern and make good choices as they walk out their destiny.   Helping them to understand the importance of salvation and living a life that is pleasing to God.

 

So get ready to engage in a new understanding of urban ministry and the importance of Christian and secular leadership of God’s people.

 

Welcome to the conversation . . .